It’s a phrase we tend to use a lot but what does it really mean and why does it matter?
Holding space means that you are giving up on the need to change someone’s life. You’re giving up on the desire to try and control someone’s outcome. You’re allowing people to be who they are and where they are in life and you’re allowing yourself to deal with whatever feelings YOU have about the choices they’re making.
Holding space means that you trust that whatever the outcome, it’s the outcome that is meant to be. (Even if it’s not the outcome you wished it would be.)
But it’s hard, ya’ll. Make no mistake about it. Holding space for other people is hard. It takes effort and grit. It takes awareness and a conscious intent to let others be who they are. AND it takes a strong understanding of your own willingness to be where you are and feel whatever it is you need to feel.
It’s also confusing sometimes because there is a line between accepting poor treatment from someone and holding space for them.
You see, holding space doesn’t mean that you accept poor treatment from anyone. But what it does mean is that once you exert your perfectly loving and healthy boundaries — you let others feel whatever they need to feel as a result of the assertion of your boundaries; you don’t try and control it or them.
On the recorded Instagram broadcast below, I give two crystal clear examples of what holding space looks like and why it’s important.
In love with love,
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